Life by the Sea

♥ @ 1st Site – An Internet Love Story

February 23, 2012 24 Comments

The night they met She stands in front of her dresser’s mirror. Fixes her hair ever so slightly, checks her makeup one last time. She spins around, checking herself from all angles. She’s ready. Heart pounding, she steps out into the February air, nervous – not sure if she’s making a mistake or on the edge of something wonderful. She enters the large theatre’s lobby bustling with movie goers. As the minutes pass, the room gets quieter as patrons make their way to their chosen theatres. She stands there in the large room with the smell of buttery popcorn and her heart skips a beat each time she hears the door open. A couple enters. A family enters. A lone woman enters. Each time the door opens her heart races until… He walks in. She’s never seen him before but in that very instant she knows this is him. She’s […]

Confessions, Health

The Invisible Elephant – I’ve Been Keeping A Secret

February 22, 2012 65 Comments

I’ve been keeping a secret for 353 days It hasn’t been easy. It has not come without feelings of guilt and betrayal – because honesty is the cornerstone of all relationships. Keeping a secret is a fine balance between hurting the people you love by telling them your news or risking resentment for not telling them. My decision to keep this information to myself was out of a desire to keep those I love from feeling the emotions of worry and fear – something I was feeling myself. I wanted to spare them from that considering I didn’t have all the answers to the questions they would be asking. It all began so innocently My secret began on March 9, 2011 when I sat in my doctor’s office and asked her to feel my neck. The large lump. On the left side. Yes, that one. Could she feel it […]

Love, Marriage, Parenthood

My Heart Is Content – I Don’t Want Sunbursts And Marble Halls

February 15, 2012 4 Comments

Valentine’s Day has never been about the material gifts With Valentine’s Day comes public declarations of love and adoration. More often than not, they are to prove to others that you are in love or are loved. Flowers are selected and delivered. Trinkets of varying degrees of value are bestowed upon excited recipients. Sometimes proposals are extended with the promise that each future February will be spent together celebrating a mutual love. While all of those things are lovely and no doubt appreciated, they are simply only symbolic in nature. Giving and receiving of materialistic items can never replace the actual feelings of love. On Valentine’s Day it isn’t about what someone can give me or what I can give another person because in my eyes nothing can ever replace the feeling of being loved. Nothing can adequately ever compare to that feeling of joy in your heart that comes […]

Confessions, Health, Mental Health

Navigating the Storm of Anxiety

February 10, 2012 8 Comments

The driving a car in a snow storm analogy You’re in a car. You’re driving down a deserted country road in the middle of a severe blizzard. You’re finding it hard to distinguish what you’re seeing because the snow is creating that “I’m flying through outer space” effect. You try to stare straight ahead without focusing on each flake but it is difficult. The windshield wipers give you brief seconds when everything appears clear but then your line of sight is clouded by the snow again. You keep looking out at the unknown in front of you, hoping you make it to your destination. Doubts keep sneaking into your thoughts. Suddenly you lose control of the car as you hit a patch of ice. The car swerves as you try to correct your path. Meanwhile your brain is rifling through the different worst case scenarios and what each one would […]

Reflections, Writing

A New Year Means a New Home for My Writing

January 24, 2012 16 Comments

It feels like I’ve always been writing in one way or another I find it hard to believe that I’ve been writing blog entries for ten years.Ten! Over the years my musings have found various homes, some private, some public but always with one goal in mind – creative release of thoughts. I’ve never been driven to write with the premise of gaining a large readership but simply to throw my thoughts out there and hope they resonate on some level with someone. Trying to find the time to write has been challenging The past few years have been an eclectic mix of competing priorities for my time – trying to balance a full time job with having babies and running a photography business. It has been a challenge! Unfortunately the things I find most fulfilling from a creative standpoint were shoved to the side as a result. While I […]