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Dream Paralysis – It’s Not Who You Are That Holds You Back

  What do you want to be when you grow up? If you could do anything in the world instead of the job you are doing right now, and had the funds to do it, what would you do? What would you be? Is it the same thing you wanted to be when asked the same question in your childhood? If it is, why haven’t you made that a reality? What is holding you back? What steps would you need to take to make that happen for you? Sometimes you don’t end up where you thought you would I was asked this question this morning. I wanted to be a fashion designer, a teacher and a marine biologist. My life has taken many twists and turns – I am none of these. While parts of these careers still appeal to me, I’m oddly okay with the outcome. So, what would […]

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The Invisible Elephant – I’ve Been Keeping A Secret

  I’ve been keeping a secret for 353 days It hasn’t been easy. It has not come without feelings of guilt and betrayal – because honesty is the cornerstone of all relationships. Keeping a secret is a fine balance between hurting the people you love by telling them your news or risking resentment for not telling them. My decision to keep this information to myself was out of a desire to keep those I love from feeling the emotions of worry and fear – something I was feeling myself. I wanted to spare them from that considering I didn’t have all the answers to the questions they would be asking. It all began so innocently My secret began on March 9, 2011 when I sat in my doctor’s office and asked her to feel my neck. The large lump. On the left side. Yes, that one. Could she feel it […]

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Navigating the Storm of Anxiety

The driving a car in a snow storm analogy You’re in a car. You’re driving down a deserted country road in the middle of a severe blizzard. You’re finding it hard to distinguish what you’re seeing because the snow is creating that “I’m flying through outer space” effect. You try to stare straight ahead without focusing on each flake but it is difficult. The windshield wipers give you brief seconds when everything appears clear but then your line of sight is clouded by the snow again. You keep looking out at the unknown in front of you, hoping you make it to your destination. Doubts keep sneaking into your thoughts. Suddenly you lose control of the car as you hit a patch of ice. The car swerves as you try to correct your path. Meanwhile your brain is rifling through the different worst case scenarios and what each one would […]

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