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Three Years – A Birthday Letter to Kyle


Dear Kyle:

This morning before the sun rose or my alarm went off, I was awake. While I lay there in bed, the darkness was broken when the bedroom door opened and the light poured in from the hallway. Little barefoot steps across the hardwood floor to the edge of my bed followed and then a whispered “mama“. Grabbing on to the side of the mattress you hoisted your little body up beside mine. As you wrapped your arms around my neck and snuggled in closer, I covered you with blankets and kissed your forehead.

Happy Birthday“, I whispered in a hushed voice so as not to wake your father who was still sleeping beside us.

We lay there in an embrace for about 20 minutes. I stroked your hair and rubbed your back. I pulled you closer, kissed your little mouth, your cheek and your forehead and then let you go just a little…not too much, so we could still keep our little cocoon of love made with intertwined arms. It took me back to that first night in the hospital after you was born – just the two of us in the dark, snuggled up like we were the only two people in the world.

Three years ago in the dark of an early morning not unlike this one, I woke with the knowledge that I would meet you that day. Your arrival was quick and almost over before I had time to process it all. In an instant I was a mom of two under two – your arrival being only 18 months after your older brother’s.

You might be small in stature bboysut you’re mighty in spirit. You love music and movement and adore art and being creative. You prefer two large teddies and no blankets when you sleep. You have a well-developed dry sense of humor and make us laugh so much. Your best friend is your brother and the sun rises and sets with Daddy.

That’s why that special moment this morning meant so much to me – on the anniversary of the day you left my body, you came back to it for comfort.

Resting your head on my chest, you listened for the familiar sound of my heart – the rhythm of life.

Happy Birthday Kyle.

I’ve loved you for a thousand years…I’ll love you for a thousand more. πŸ™‚


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  1. Beautifully written, Tammi!
    Happy Birthday to my favorite three year old!
    He had some carrot cake that I brought in! He loved it!

    1. That’s really ironic Tara! My mom made me carrot cake for my birthday every year when I was growing up πŸ™‚

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